rebellions | HIGH SEAS=EPILOGUE

The odd, floating sensation in his stomach makes it hard to determine whether he's standing or lying or something else completely. His limbs feel like they're made of lead, and as much as he'd like to, he can't even lift a finger. He slowly opens his eyes, but the only sight that welcomes him is pitch-black darkness surrounding him. No light, no sound. Nothingness.

Is he dead? That's the most logical assumption, given the circumstances; at the very least, this more or less fits his idea of what dying must be like. Yet somehow, it fails to make an impression on him.

"... What a mess."

Ragna lets out a resigned sigh. It was bound to happen sooner or later, so he can't say he's terribly surprised, honestly─ and although he can't exactly recall the events that led up to this, the overwhelming sense of failure is more than enough to convince him he must have screwed up big time.

Come to think of it, it's hardly any different from that day: once again, everything and everyone he cared about was taken away from him and there was nothing he could do to prevent that. How ironic; it's exactly the reason why he didn't want to get close to anyone in his crew in the first place. He knew that eventually, he'd lose them all and have to go through the same hell as before. He wanted to avoid it so badly, kept pushing them away and tried really hard not to grow attached to them─ all in vain. And, of course, he only comes to realize how much they meant to him when they're gone and he'll never see them again. He'll never get lectured about responsibility and whatnot by Xun Yu. He'll never get into a fight with Mitsunari over disrespecting his dead lord. He'll never have to deal with Kodachi's outbursts or get to taste her cooking. He'll never yell at Motochika for pushing his boundaries with his attempts at being friendly or drink with him. It's... over, all of it.

A few tears escape his eyes, slowly trailing down his cheeks. Strange, he didn't think he still had any of those left to cry. He's never had much hope or expectations for his end, but this still feels... disappointing, maybe? Because really, what was all that for? Years of training to get stronger, to make the power of "the world's most powerful grimoire" his─ and he still couldn't change anything. He couldn't protect the people who mattered to him the most and got himself (supposedly) killed as the result. Just how more pathetic can he get?

Suddenly, he feels a warm touch to his face, gently wiping away the tears.

"... I am so sorry, Ragna."

He blinks, but despite the voice coming from just above his head, he still can't see anything through the thick darkness. It sounds oddly familiar, though. Nostalgic, even. Like an old friend that he hasn't heard from in a long time.

"Rach... el?" He says slowly, a small smirk crawling up his face. "Heh. You've been watching this whole time, haven't you..."

Seriously, it doesn't come as any kind of revelation. In fact, he's always figured that might be the case; if anything, he'd be shocked if it turned out to be the opposite. As much as she dislikes it when he calls her a stalker, it really does fit her, considering how she's always aware of what he does wherever he goes. Why should a different world change anything?

"... Yes. That is all I can do. Nothing else but watch... For that, I am sorry."

The way she says that is certainly genuine, and that's something Ragna can actually find a bit of amusement in. Rabbit? Apologizing? It's not something that's ever happened before. Still, with her tone as grave as it is, he can't help but feel guilty; as much as he hates her verbal abuse and trying to order him around, he's never actually meant to make her truly upset, but it looks like he went way too far this time.

"Don't mention it. Ain't your fault anyway..."

He tries to sound casual, but the truth weights heavily on his heart. Whatever went down there was his fault, that much he knows for sure. All he can recall is that he wished for the destruction of that stupid, pointless world and then─ it was this. Darkness. But something tells him there's more to it that that, although he's not sure if he wants to find out what it is.

"Once again, I couldn't do anything. I wish I could have... given you a chance to keep that little piece of happiness you have finally found. But the wheel of fate could not be stopped... it continues to spin round and round, repeating the same gruesome destiny over and over again..."

The longer they talk, the harder it gets for Ragna to focus on her words; most of them escape him now, swallowed by the surrounding nothingness. For a second he thinks she must be moving away from him, but─ no, her hand is still holding his face. His eyelids keep growing heavier and heavier until he feels like he can't force himself to stay awake much longer. He's just... tired. Really, really tired.

"... I don't really get what you're saying, but... Sorry. I'm getting kinda sleepy here..."

Although he still can't see anything, he could swear Rachel smiled just now. As if he needed any more proof he's lost it.

"... You should rest. Once you wake up, you will rise once again... carrying all this pain and sins on your shoulders, you will stand up and continue to fight. Again and again... No matter how many times it takes, until the very end."

Even with her voice growing more and more distant and distorted, those last words reach him just fine. For a brief moment, Ragna can think clearly again─ isn't that how it's always been? The reason to fight. That he'd go and question it like this... What an idiot he's been. Letting himself get carried away and ending up like this... He can't help but feel disappointed with himself. And everyone else, too... he probably let them down. Or would've if they had a way of knowing what transpired after they left that world, anyway. It's not difficult to guess Xun Yu would be furious. She'd probably keep nagging him about how she "told him so", only in some more sophisticated words; and hell, she'd be right, but there again when wasn't she? For Mitsunari, this would probably equal betrayal, no? Ragna isn't sure he could still look the man in the eyes after it, considering how much he hates those. And he wouldn't blame him for hating him, too. Kodachi... man, she'd really cry her eyes out, wouldn't she? Maybe hit him a few times on the head and yell at him for being so reckless and making her worry so much, and then it's back to waterworks. Motochika─ would Motochika forgive him? Wanting to destroy the world, despised or not, is no small thing and it may be too much to ask for forgiveness after that─ but no, he's pretty sure he would. Being a soft-hearted dummy that he is... Ragna smiles wryly to himself as the images of his crew─ his friends─ come to his mind, giving them a silent apology. It's all he can do now.

"... Yeah. I... made a promise..."

That's right, he remembers now. He promised himself that no matter what, he would fight as a person... as a human being... until the very end. He... got a bit lost for a while there, though. Let grief, anger and hatred cloud his judgment. New tears roll down his cheeks, but this time Rachel makes no attempt to dry them.

"This is where it ends. And this is where it shall begin anew."

The girl's voice is fading away so fast Ragna can barely grasp what she's saying anymore. Or maybe it's his own consciousness that's leaving him; it's hard to tell. He moves his lips, trying to say something─ perhaps another apology─ but the words just won't come out.

"Goodbye, Ragna. I shall see you in the next world..."

Funny. For some reason, it feels like he's heard those words thousands of times before...